An Elevator Dream

After a horrible day yesterday, I finally got the perfect break... while I was asleep.

I haven't had a great dream for the longest time! Sometimes, I was sure had a good dream, but then I end up not remembering about it. So really, that doesn't count.

But last night, I had such a nice dream that when I woke up, I felt like this day is going to be so much better than yesterday!

Here goes...

I got in an elevator and it was so packed! I stood in the middle and people still kept coming in. Suddenly, a guy entered and we sort of made eye contact--just for a moment because I quickly averted my eyes. I think I felt shy.

He stood in front of me. But it wasn't like we were face to face or anything... I was slightly to my left away from him. But we were pretty close to each other.

I had my arms crossed to my chest. A friend was immediately infront, with her back to me. I guess I realized that I was making her uncomfortable because my arm was nudging against her back, I made an effort and put my arms down.

As I tried to position my arms neatly on my sides, I unintentionally brushed against this guy's stomach. And not a moment too soon after I had my hands down, I felt a hand take my own and intertwined with my fingers. It was him.

Okay. Now, I have no idea who the guy was, but apparantly, I'm quite attracted to him. He definitely had a face, but it wasn't someone that I'd met, I think. Or maybe, I've met him, but just not enough for me to remember.

Anyway, it doesn't matter who he is or what the dream meant; it was cute and it's definitely a good starter-upper for a day filled with nothing but the same old routine.

Bad Day

Cause you had a bad day
You're taking one down
You sing a sad song just to turn it around
You say you don't know
You tell me don't lie
You work at a smile and you go for a ride
You had a bad day
The camera don't lie
You're coming back down and you really don't mind
You had a bad day
You had a bad day

That's the chorus of the song Bad Day by Daniel Powter. If you've watched the latest season of American Idol, you've definitely heard of it... because they play it everytime someone has to go home.

If you haven't heard it before, you can listen to it in AOL for free. Just Click "P" under the "Artist" category, scroll down and choose "Powter, Daniel". A list of his songs should appear on the side. When you click "Bad Day", a pop-up will appear. That's it.

Today was my bad day. Allow me to enumerate...

1. During the greater part of the morning, my computer at work was going crazy. I was the only one in the entire office who had an internet connection that wasn't working properly. This caused me to delay working. I couldn't help it! I needed the Internet to do my job.

2. I got my first paycheck! It would have been lucky for me coz it came in early (it's only June 29; payday is supposed to be June 30). Here's the catch... My surname was mis-spelled. I deposited it in the bank anyway... we'll see in the following days if they'll allow it.

3. My packed lunch was horrible! I HAD to eat 1 pie from Jollibee because I don't really have that much money to buy a decent lunch.

4. My shoe broke! Not the heels... but the leather... it was torn off.

Now, office hours is finally over. I have to go to school to meet up with some classmates.. I'm hoping I won't be too unlucky towards the end of the night.

INXS To Perform in Manila

INXS will be here in Manila this August 15 at the Araneta Coliseum. It's their first stop in their Switch Tour in Asia.

I first read about it in Ricky Lo's Article in the Philippine Star (Funfare) and confirmed it through the band's official website (which, in order to be a member of, you actually have to pay a membership fee. so weird.)

Nood Tayo!!!!!!!!!!!!

Johnny Depp on Newsweek!

As you may or may not know, I am a huge Johnny Depp fan (figuratively and literally speaking ;p). I came across an article about him in the Internet... by chance. Thanks to my job!!!

This, I think, is the latest edition of Newsweek. They have the article online, so if you're just as interested please click on the link.

A Pirate's Life: Johnny Depp

Lapit na Pirates 2!!! I wish I could watch it in the theater!

KIM CHIU: Pinoy Big Brother Teen Big Winner

From Day 1 in the Big Brother house, the boys have already noticed her. With her long straight hair, chinita eyes and adorable smile, this 16 year old girl was dubbed Chinese Cutie of Cebu. But apart from being pretty, she's also quite talented. She dances, sings and even plays the guitar; and let's face it, a girl playing a guitar is definitely cool.

She's also not afraid of making a fool of herself. I remember the first time I openly declared that I love that girl... she farted and actually said it out loud. If I remember it correctly, I think she was consoling Miki after her scuffle with Olyn. Kim suddenly and boldly said, "Ayan, nautot tuloy ako." Hysterical laughter bursted from Kim, Miki and Clare.

Kim started off the show with Mikee as her "loveteam". This began with a Truth or Dare game where Mikee was asked who his crush was in the house and said it to be Kim. Kim was also asked the same question and said it to be Mikee. From then on, the two had always been paired up. The guys backed up from any kinds of moves on Kim.

But later on, Kim had lost interest in Mikee and shifted her attention to Gerald. Earlier in the show, I believe that Gerald also said that he had a crush on Kim. However it was only later on that Kim admitted he had a crush on Gerald. This is how the new loveteam was formed.

Quite frankly, I find ABS-CBN too obviously biased. They had insisted on pairing up the two at the expense of a disappointed Mikee. It seemed to me that they prioritized Kim and Gerald over Mikee and Clare. If I'm wrong, well that's just my point of view.

Now let me comment on the Big Night...

It wasn't the best. I think the Celebrity Edition Big Night is better. The Teen Edition Big Night is not as big as it ought to have been; which is a shame really. I have no qualms regarding the location, however. Although it's a smaller venue than the others, it was actually better and more convenient for those who are watching. The costumes of the characters on stage were good, although the set itself is mediocre. The only part I really loved is Keanna Reeves in her butterfly costume!

Best gown of the night, for me, was worn by Angelika Dela Cruz. Toni Gonzaga changed into several coutures, but none of them found comparison to Angelika's. Bianca Gonzales, once again, was as plain as ever. The print of the gown was not flattering at all. Her hair was too simply made. Her over all appearance did not not even whisper "big night", there was nothing big about her. Not even the tiara could save her. Mariel Rodriguez wore the biggest mistake of the night! Her white gown screamed "Whore"! The plunging neckline was too plunging. It was not fit for the occasion. The theme was "fairytale fantasy" for crying out loud; not "fulfill men's sexual fantasy"! But I have to give her some points for a great hair-do.

The performances of the night were horrible. There was only one actual performance there, it was when Sam Milby, Toni Gonzaga and Nikki Gil sang LIVE towards the end; but that's not commendable either, it was just okay. I'm totally biased against lip synching. Shame to Erik Santos, most of all!!! I would've expected such lowly acts from actors pretending to be singers, that's forgiveable; but for a man to win a SINGING contest and lip sync? It's just wrong. From here on, forgive me if I could only think of him as Mr. Britney.

As for the clothes of the Big Four, I hate the producers for allowing Clare to wear such ridiculous gown. It was not flattering to her!!! What the hell?! You dressed the other 3 like they're royalty and you gave the Barrio Babe of Bukidnon a dress Barbie wouldn't even wear! I don't care whoever the hell made it. It was an ugly dress and should not have been forced on Clare. The colors were just way too dark. If you all don't know it, pastel=youth. What happened to peach? What happened to sky blue? What happened to pink, when the dress was being designed? Clare's gown is my biggest rant in the Big Night.

As for our big winner...

I wasn't rooting for her at all. I had an inkling feeling that it might be Kim, but I wanted it to Gerald. And when Gerald was called to be the 3rd Big Winner, I wanted it to be Mikee.

I'm not saying she doesn't deserve it, maybe she does, after all she got more than 100% of votes compared to Mikee's number of votes. None of them really improved while inside that house. To be bold about it, none of them deserved to win. To my mind, none of them grew as a person.

In Pinoy Big Brother, we saw Nene turn from a tough girl to a person who curled up and softened when she reunited with her mom for 100 seconds. We saw her stand up against Big Brother thinking that he'd gone too far; but upon explanation by the "all-knowing" Kuya, she sucked in her pride and asked for forgiveness. This, and her Coconut Tree stunt, gave her 6 million Pesos worth of prizes.

In Pinoy Big Brother Celebrity Edition, although Keanna Reeves got the most votes, I believe that John Pratts was the one who improved the most. From a laid back young man, he became the knight in shining armor inside the house for the final week of the big four. He barely slept and kept close watch of the eggs they were tasked to protect. He took the activity seriously when the others slept on it. In fact, he was the only member of the Big Four that was commended by Big Brother after that ordeal.

In Pinoy Big Brother Teen Edition... well, I don't know. It was nothing more than a paid vacation for all of them. And it was just like watching their home movies every night.

All I can really say is... Thank God that's over.

The 5 Stages of Letting Go

I formulated these after I have let go. This is something I personally believe in and not one that I try to impose on others. If you agree with it, well and good. If not, well, let's just respect each other.

I have found that after a heartbreak, a person goes through these stages and should not deny nor suppress them. It's never healthy. Denial is such an ugly thing. The best thing is to just admit that you're going through the stages and never sugarcoat them. I am telling you, it's all right to go through them. You will not be judged as mean or inconsiderate.

Situation:
Your girl/boyfriend dumps you. You're still very much in love with her/him.

Stage 1: Self-pity.
More often than not, when another lets us down, we get the feeling that we're not good enough. We get to the thinking that that's the reason why s/he dumped us. We think horribly of ourselves. Sometimes, our self-esteem plummets to the ground. We feel like we are being crushed: our hearts, our souls, our whole being.

Stage 2: Anger
We realize that we are not the problem. S/he is the problem! The other person is an idiot and has no idea what s/he has just lost. We become hateful and revengeful. We feel rage rushing through our veins, as if it's what keeps us alive. We hate and we loathe. We want to destroy; destroy her/his life.

Stage 3: Acceptance
This is where we can sing that song... "I can see clearly now, the rain is gone..." We have finally accepted that it's over; that s/he ended it and we didn't; that we should not blame ourselves; that we should not blame her/him; that there are things that just don't last. This is not the part where we let go, this is just the door. The door hasn't even been opened yet, but we're standing right in front of it. We are now ready to open that door and let go.

Stage 4: Pseudo-Let Go
We feel like we have finally let the other person go. And why not? We haven't seen her/him for so long; we've never communicated; sometimes we're already with someone else. Yet, when you see her/him or talk to her/him, we find all the feelings and the memories coming back. We realize that the seeming "have let go" statement we made is not all that accurate. We're still in love.

Stage 5: We Have Finally Let Go
It takes a long, long, long time, somtimes, to get here. Too long even. But I'm sure we all get here. We all learn to let go. When we're here, we don't wonder anymore of the what ifs: what if I was like this, what if I did this, what if we didn't, what if we did. We don't hope anymore that we'll get back with her/him, at all. Instead, we forgive and we start a new relationship with the other, something civil and worthy of noting... as friends. There are no longer any antagonists at this stage.

It took a very long time before I got to the final stage, but I did. It was all so difficult but I guess now that I think about it, I woudn't have it any other way. I learned a lot from the ordeal. Sweet misery, it was.