Time To Cut My Losses

Some people when they gamble, they get so hooked with the game that they often forget when to stop. Usually, this is because they have experienced substantial winnings in the course of it. However, some people are hooked not because they're winning; but rather, because they want to win.

For the past few weeks, I gambled and tried to make something out of nothing. The whole experience was making my heart pump and my blood rush. It was exhilerating, actually. The waiting wasn't even tiring... I was absolutely looking forward to whatever is coming. The whole time, I just wanted it to come. I wanted anything to come: good results, bad results... anything.

But in gambling, a person has to know when it is time to cut his losses. And for me, it is time. I have to stop.

I feel disappointed because nothing happened; I was neither accepted nor rejected. I came out of the experience completely safe; and I think that's horrible. I'd really rather be scarred when I walk of it than have nothing at all. But apparently, the universe, or whatever or whomever's hands are making things turn, decided that I can't be broken at this time. (Because I think I was destined to be broken for this particular endeavor).

The point is, I get the message. I guess I already knew it before, I was just too stubborn to take it in.

So, I did invite him in Friendster, right? He didn't accept. I don't think he even looked at my profile. The reason, of course, is unknown to me. But a couple of days of nothing made me realize that this is the end of the line. I should cut my losses and get out of the building (you know, figuratively speaking). So I cancelled the invite.

I just feel kind of sad because it was such an elaborate plan just to get to talk to him. I've never done anything so bold and forward in my life... and with this, I psyched myself up... I was ready... for anything. Still, the opportunity never came. But, you know, I'm sure there's a lot more to come. It was fun--this whole thing. But it's time to move on.